I am tragically uncool.
And I have recently discovered yet another way in which I am not hip.
I don’t curse.
Now, before you consign me to the trash heap of Christians who cannot possibly reach a generation of folks who are looking for authenticity, relevance, and who are not interested in nice, neat, easy answers - and who find cursing a way to express their existential angst - let me explain why I don’t curse.
It has nothing to do with my faith.
Okay, yes it does. It has everything to do with my faith, but not for the reason you may think. It has to do with my faith because everything in my life is connected to my faith, or I want it to be. That, and when I first became a follower of Jesus, I was convicted by God to allow the Spirit to tame my tongue, and that involved cursing.
But the real reason why I don’t curse, and find myself uncomfortable with cursing among those who are called to lead God’s people, is for another reason. I was raised to believe that cursing was the language of sloppy, uneducated, immature people - and I wanted to grow out of that. I was taught that cursing was for those folks who lacked a strong grasp of the language, and simply couldn’t think of better ways to express themselves. And since communicating is not only what I do, but how I serve God and people, and language is the tool to do it, I should do it well. And most times cursing just seems sloppy and immature. Sorry, but it does. And I was taught all this by a mother who had never heard of the “holiness” tradition. She was not teaching me legalistic religion, she was teaching me how to be an educated adult.
Later on, I received graduate education in psychology, and this education challenged the folk psychology that every feeling should be expressed, and that the need to say what you feel at all times was the sign of, you guessed it, an immature person.
With this history, I find myself choosing not to curse, and encouraging those who are my ministry colleagues to find better words to express their strong ideas, emotions, and discomfort at the pain of life. I understand why some folks disagree with me. I really do. Just don’t ask me to join you. And try not to put me in a box as someone who sees life and faith as a Hallmark card, because I am really working hard not to put you in a box - the box I was told is the place where folks who curse belong - the box of folks who simply don’t know any better.
And, in my attempt to just be a little cool, I have scruffy facial hair and black-rimmed glasses.
Doesn’t that count for something?
Very well put. And just for the record, I think you're pretty cool.
ReplyDelete~Craig Lamos
I agree that you don't have to. As long as you express the passion in your verbal communication, you don't need to use it. Besides, Jesus wasn't recorded as using vulgarity for vulgarity's sake. When he called you a Fool, he meant it. Though Paul did find occasion to compare our self-reliance to a pile of dung, and used a very colorful word to do so. Therefore, I would not necessarily censor anyone who threw out the occasional well-placed, well-meant, well-put vulgarity.
ReplyDeleteMike, you're REALLY cool.
ReplyDeleteYes Mike you are really cool, as Kate Drew wrote. I'm brand new to this blogging thing....anyway....my Dad never ever cursed either. As a 15 year old kid...who was trying to figure out what being a man was all about...I heard men cursing in movies, at Boy Scouts, at baseball, other kids at school...it seemed to be a "guy thing" to do. The rule seemed to be to not cuss in front of the ladies - but - when guys got together they could let loose. One day I asked my father why he didn't ever cuss. He explained that when he was in WWII - on the front lines, in battle and scared to death, he asked God to protect him and get him safe and he promised to never ever again utter a cuss word, and he never did. He was cool too.
ReplyDelete